Trying to conceive can affect so much more than your fertility. It can change your sex life, create resentment, bring old trauma and insecurities to the surface, and leave couples feeling more like roommates than partners.
In this episode, Dr. Leah breaks down some of the most common relationship dynamics she sees during a difficult TTC or infertility journey, including the project manager and avoider, silent grievers, sex on schedule, and the unequal burden dynamic. She also shares practical ways to communicate your needs, involve your partner, protect intimacy, shift unhealthy patterns, and create a stronger foundation for the parenthood you’re working toward. Most importantly, if trying to conceive has changed your relationship, you’re not alone, and it doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed.
00:00 Trailer + Intro
01:43 How Trying to Conceive Can Affect Your Relationship
02:47 When TTC Starts Changing Your Relationship
05:07 When Sex Becomes a Chore
06:43 The Vicious Cycle of Libido and Disconnection
10:06 How Hard Times Bring Old Wounds to the Surface
11:43 When Fertility Changes the Relationship Dynamic
16:04 The Project Manager and the Avoider
18:39 Give Your Partner the Map
20:06 The Silent Grievers
21:13 Sex on Schedule and Unequal Burden
25:35 The Hidden Grief of Trying to Conceive
27:30 The Micro-Griefs Women Carry
30:32 When Your Partner Doesn’t Know How to Show Up
33:05 Creating the Support You Actually Need
35:30 Reconnecting With Joy and Your Identity
37:46 Giving Your Partner a Clear Role
41:37 Letting Go of Control
43:48 Protecting Polarity and Connection
49:28 What Your Partner Can Actually Do
51:50 Protecting Your Relationship During TTC
55:07 Breaking the Resentment and Disconnection Cycle
57:27 Getting Support and Processing the Hard Stuff
60:44 Building a Stronger Foundation for Parenthood
63:03 You Are Not Alone
Resources From This Chapter:
- The Queen’s Code book by Alison Armstrong – https://www.amazon.com/Queens-Code-Alison-Armstrong/dp/B01DAYC348/
- The Queen’s Code Podcast Episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0Kx1WKOBj6ByS9BWrMm3fH?si=afc6a448f29a40a1
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Find more from Dr. Leah:
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Find more from Dr. Morgan:
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Dr. Morgan MacDermott | Website
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